blossomleaf~warrior~she-cat~riverclan

[blossomleaf]

Name: blossomleaf
Family: family was killed by food poisoning from a fish they shared.
Rank: Warrior
Clan: RiverClan
Gender: She-Cat
Age: blossomleaf is 21 moons old
Eye Color: blossomleaf's eyes are a grey-blue.
Fur Color: blossomleafs fur color is grey with blue streaks in it.
Other Appearances:

Blossomleaf has long whiskers and light grey paws. Her fur is a beautiful silky grey with dark, almost blue stripes in it. Her fur is medium to long in length, which hides her battle scars easily.

Personality:

Blossomleaf is cool under pressure: she uses wits in battle with stronger cats. She is very calm when it comes to grumpy elders and adventurous kits. Blossomleaf is very generous, and will give up her own prey to an elder in the middle of leaf-bare. She gets very excited when it snows and when the flowers bloom. She also is a very hard worker at being a warrior, and tries to beat everyone at everything. Blossomleaf is very passionate when it comes to sick cats and older warriors. Also, she cares for other cats from clans if they are driven from their clans, whatever the reason might be. Blossomleaf is also very strict when she needs to be: she is certainly not a push-over.

History:

Blossomleaf used to be a kitty-pet named Pokie, but she ran away the first chance she got. When some RiverClan warriors found her, they acted mean and tough. It frightened her so bad that she made a run for it and almost collided with another RiverClan warrior. The warriors rounded her up and brought her to RiverClan's camp. She stared around, owl-eyed and scared, at all of the cats with their teeth bared. The the leader told them to hush, and asked Blossomleaf question after question. Once the Clan relaxed she did too, and the leader began to like her. The leader thought she might be special somehow, and asked her to join the clan -taking care to tell her that it was a once-in-a-lifetime offer. Blossomleaf accepted the offer and began her apprentice work the next day. She was 6 moons old when they made her an apprentice: the prfect age. When it was her turn to become a warrior she was 12 moons old, and had trained hard for that day. The leader named her Blossomleaf.
She now lives in the warriors den and doesn't smell like kitty-pet any more, for which she is grateful. Blossomleaf also will never forget that day when her clan-mates scared her to death: she still laughs at herself for that to this day.

RP Example:

Blossomleaf woke with a start: how late in the day it was! 'I'm late for my duties!' Blossomleaf thought. Giving herself a quick bath, she stepped outside, blinking the harsh light out of her eyes. She quickly ate a water vole and went dashing out to the reed bank to hunt.
Blossomleaf stood in the reeds and took a deep breath. The smell of water vole washed over her scent-glands. It was near-by. Blossomleaf immediately dropped into a hunter's crouch. She began to stalk her prey through the damp soil, making not a sound, thanks to moons of practice. A few more steps and then she could have the fresh-kill.... Blossomleaf pounced and landed square on her target, quickly taking its life with a swift bite to the back of the neck.
"Thank you, StarClan, for this prey's life and the life it will give to my clan," she thought, sending up a silent prayer to StarClan.

Cats you RP: 1
Names of cats: blossomleaf
Other:

Blossomleaf wants kits and a mate in the near future. She is a very bright, hearted cat. She is in love with blossoms and snow. Blossomleaf would love to mentor someone in the near future.
~my cat~ www.catfacts.org/maltese-cat-facts.jpg

[echo]

Before I accept this, could you fix all the grammar mistakes? Other than that, it's fine.

[blossomleaf]

better?? and if not could you tell me specifics???

[echo]

There's still some spelling and capitalization errors. Also some of your commas could be changed to periods if you want. You can go over the sentence requirement if you want ^^

[blossomleaf]

i would use spell check but it won't let me..... and btw could you tell me were to fix it b/c i think i have it done this time............ :X hopefully!!!! and were is the sentence requirement located??

[fαllεη •]

Just answering, then I'll hand the reigns back to Echo ^^

When you modify the post, the sentence requirements are found in a box, left of where you type in her information :).
Do you have Microsoft Word or something similar? If so, just copy your bio -no need to hit the 'modify' button, unless you want to do it the long way ;)- and paste it in. That'll tell you where the errors are. If not, there are some good free word processors out there. Before I got Word, we used AbiWord, which is a very reliable piece of software and easy to use.

Do you want me to tell you where some of the errors are, or just fix them for you? (If so, I'll use our lovely spoiler thingeemabob to put an edited version below. If I had to add sentences, you'll find them in [[double square brackets]]).

SPOILER: Click to show

Name: Blossomleaf
Family: Her family was tragically killed by food poisoning from a fish which they had shared.
Rank: Warrior
Clan: RiverClan
Gender: She-Cat
Age: 21 moons old
Eye Colour: Grey-blue.
Fur Colour: Grey with blue streaks in it.
Other Appearances:

Blossomleaf has long whiskers and light grey paws. [[Her fur is a beautiful silky grey with dark, almost blue stripes in it.]] Her fur is medium to long in length, which hides her battle scars easily.

Personality:

Blossomleaf is cool under pressure: she uses wits in battle with stronger cats. She is very calm when it comes to grumpy elders and adventurous kits. Blossomleaf is very generous, and will give up her own prey to an elder in the middle of leaf-bare. She gets very excited when it snows and when the flowers bloom. She also is a very hard worker at being a warrior, and tries to beat everyone at everything. Blossomleaf is very passionate when it comes to sick cats and older warriors. Also, she cares for other cats from clans if they are driven from their clans, whatever the reason might be. Blossomleaf is also very strict when she needs to be: she is certainly not a push-over.

History:

Blossomleaf used to be a kitty-pet named Pokie, but she ran away the first chance she got. When some RiverClan warriors found her, they acted mean and tough. It frightened her so bad that she made a run for it and almost collided with another RiverClan warrior. [[The warriors rounded her up and brought her to RiverClan's camp.]] She stared around, owl-eyed and scared, at all of the cats with their teeth bared. The the leader told them to hush, and asked Blossomleaf question after question. Once the Clan relaxed she did too, and the leader began to like her. The leader thought she might be special somehow, and asked her to join the clan -taking care to tell her that it was a once-in-a-lifetime offer. Blossomleaf accepted the offer and began her apprentice work the next day. She was 6 moons old when they made her an apprentice: the prfect age. When it was her turn to become a warrior she was 12 moons old, and had trained hard for that day. The leader named her Blossomleaf.
She now lives in the warriors den and doesn't smell like kitty-pet any more, for which she is grateful. Blossomleaf also will never forget that day when her clan-mates scared her to death: she still laughs at herself for that to this day.

RP Example:

Blossomleaf woke with a start: how late in the day it was! 'I'm late for my duties!' Blossomleaf thought. Giving herself a quick bath, she stepped outside, blinking the harsh light out of her eyes. She quickly ate a water vole and went dashing out to the reed bank to hunt.
Blossomleaf stood in the reeds and took a deep breath. The smell of water vole washed over her scent-glands. It was near-by. Blossomleaf immediately dropped into a hunter's crouch. She began to stalk her prey through the damp soil, making not a sound, thanks to moons of practice. A few more steps and then she could have the fresh-kill.... Blossomleaf pounced and landed square on her target, quickly taking its life with a swift bite to the back of the neck.
"Thank you, StarClan, for this prey's life and the life it will give to my clan," she thought, sending up a silent prayer to StarClan.

Cats you RP: 1
Names of cats: Blossomleaf
Other:

Blossomleaf wants kits and a mate in the near future. She is a very bright-hearted cat. She is in love with blossoms and snow. Blossomleaf would also love to mentor an apprentice in the near future.
~My Cat~

Just to save you the bother of correcting it XD.

[blossomleaf]

omg thank you sooo much!!!!!!! is this any better???

[echo]