creating a cat

[karui23]

Name: sivlermoon
Family: father ashthunder.mother sivlerstream,leafpool,and sandstorm
Rank: Warrior
Clan: ThunderClan
Gender: She-Cat
Age: 10 moons
Eye Color: red with a pink dot in the middle
Fur Color: sivler and black
Other Appearances:

90 pounds
2`9 inches
has a scar on her side

Personality:

cool,clam,and nice
is clam in battle .cool with other cats.and loves kits
is helpful.and loves to teach

History:

scar becacause a wolf nikked her
when she was a kit.loves to teach apperaeds rosepaw .loves to battle . loves to kill mouses
loves all clans
loves her mate lightingstorm
loves to beat all cshadow clans

RP Example:

nice mean clod heartless in battlew

Cats you RP: Other (post number in other)
Names of cats: leafpool,sandstorm,sivlerstream,ashthunder
Other:

[fαllεη •]

Edit: I'm bolding all the main points so you don't really have to read all of this XD

I'm sorry, Karui, but we need a few more things before I can accept her. First and foremost, if you read the announcements, you'll see that we have a ban on all ThunderClan cats and WindClan she-cats. If you want to move her bio into RiverClan or ShadowClan though -though probably RiverClan, as she seems to love beating up ShadowClanners XD- then I'll be only too happy to oblige. Can you please put her new Clan, name and rank (or gender XD) into the title of your thread?
I'm not sure what our policy is on accepting descendants of canon, but as long as you know that Firestar and Leafpool are little more than ancient history, I'm sure that's fine :) (So she's unlikely to actually go around saying that she is a descendant of Leafpool, because no-one knows who Leafpool is XD) Can you perhaps elaborate on how she's related to Silverstream as well? She seems to have a lot of mothers, so we need some help on this one XD. Her history is a good spot to put all this.

Second, in terms of our sentence requirements here, we need full sentences, so unfortunately I can't accept bullet points :(. If you add Just a little to them, though, they will be fine.
When you say '90 pounds', -not a natural weight for a cat... Can I recommend five to seven as an average? ^^;- simply adding 'She weighs' to the front would make it a complete sentence. But you don't just need to complete the sentences, though! I mean, I will accept it if you do just that, but don't feel like it only has to be three sentences. We encourage more :) Tell us what her normal expression is: thoughtful, happy, sad? How does she hold herself -with pride or humility? (Just some examples for you :))

Your personality, I'm afraid, needs the same tweaking, that's all. "Silvermoon is a very cool-tempered cat. She is always calm, not getting easily upset, and is sure to treat others with kindness and respect... Even if they are in ShadowClan." And that's just your first sentence :). Try putting all of your personality traits together like that, and I'm sure you'll do great! You said in her role-play sample that she was mean, so a great way of boosting your personality is to say how or when she is mean. Is she short-tempered around kits, or just absent-minded apprentices? Or, if she's not short-tempered, is she just sharp-tongued? Does border patrol make her nervous, and she covers that with a dose of cold words?

We seem to require at least ten sentences for our role-play sample. Now, I know that's tough -especially if you don't normally role-play ten sentences! :)- but I'm sure you'll do great. You can even use your posts from other sites that meet the minimum if you want.
If you need help with any of this, please, feel free to ask me or any of the other staff! We can help you out with anything, so don't be scared to ask :).
(Oh, and if all of that was way too much to take in, tell me XD I just tend to ramble about stuff that would've helped me when I started role-playing, so I don't know if you actually need any of that garbage above XD.)